b o g d o m

The more I learn about the Internet, the more amazed I am that it works at all.
According to my calculations, this problem doesn't exist.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
96.37% of the people who use statistics in arguments make them up.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Conclusion /nm./: the place where you got tired of thinking.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd
Ah well, they say its not as bad as they say it is.
I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me.
Anyone who isn't confused here doesn't really know what's going on.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS.
(a message board of a local BBS)
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
(Abraham Lincoln)
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
(Albert Einstein)
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
(Albert Einstein)
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
(Albert Einstein)
Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?
(Artemus Ward)
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
(Ashleigh Brilliant)
Is there life before death?
(Belfast Graffito)
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
(Benjamin Disraeli)
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
(Benjamin Franklin)
When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results.
(Calvin Coolidge)
Does Windows 98 support Linux?
(Computer Stupidities)
How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?
(Computer Stupidities)
I was calling to sign up with a new DSL provider. When the guy asked what operating system I was using, I said, "Linux." I was put on hold for five minutes, and then a supervisor came back and told me, "You can't use Linux to connect to the Internet. It's a hacker tool, anyway." I almost fell out of my chair.
(Computer Stupidities)
My father likes to delete things from the Windows System directory because he's convinced that's where the swap file lurks. I have to reinstall Windows 95 almost every day.
(Computer Stupidities)
Customer: "File manager? What's that?" Tech Support: "How long have you had your computer?" Customer: "Three years."
(Computer Stupidities)
UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things.
(Doug Gwyn)
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
(Douglas Adams)
There is an art... to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
(Douglas Adams)
We're from the FBI. We don't have a sense of humor that we know of.
(FBI spokesman)
A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do that.
(Gordon L. Glegg)
Look behind you, a three-headed monkey!
(Guybrush Threepwood)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
(Henry David Thoreau)
Never do today what could be done tomorrow
(Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy)
It always takes longer than you think even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
(Hofstadter's Law)
Shut up, be happy. The conveniences you demanded are now mandatory.
(Jello Biafra)
You're not drunk when you can lie on the floor without holding on.
(Joe E Lewis)
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
(Mark Twain)
You know it's Unix when the backspace key often performs an action other than deleting the character to the left of the cursor
(Mark Tyndall)
Things get worse under pressure.
(Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics.)
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
(Niels Bohr)
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
(Paul Valery)
Engineer [Def]: A person who can do for a penny what any fool can do for a pound
(Peter Greenhalgh)
Often it is fatal to live too long.
I may be paranoid, but not an android
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
(Salvador Dali)
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff nature replaces it with.
(Tennessee Williams)
Sex toys rock
My dad's a cop too, can you let me go now?
Does Windows 98 support Linux? (Computer Stupidities)
Alle quotes